The First
by thepapergirl
Summary: 'She was afraid of drowning, in that love.'   One shot of Jane's recollections on life- rated T for Character death and grief. Please read and review!


**A/N Hi there! This is not my first story, because the first one is NOT posting as technology seems to hate me with a burning passion... :P *clears throat* (If you would check "My stories" and click on "If I had to say Goodbye," read it, and review, I would be FOREVER in your debt!) Anywhoo- I was randomly inspired to type this, while watching and episode of JATD. This is a oneshot, and it is pretty sad, but not very gory... I hope.**

**Over a Grave too freshly dug= my way of saying, they died too soon. **

**-I have Jane say "Aye" as kind of my homage to that crazy sir Ivon, whom is one of my favorite character :D**

**Feel more than free to PM me with any questions, and even more free to press that shiny little review button down there! Hope you enjoy :)**

**Hugs and butterfly kisses,**

**LadyM**

* * *

><p>'It is a knights test. For the first girl knight <em>ever, <em>and that is officially a long time.'

Aye, It has been an officially long, long time.

I remember him saying it to me, as if it were yesterday, in the practice yard.

All my life, whispers have followed my name.

'I, am Jane Turnkey_,'_

Followed by hushed words,

_'Do you see that small red haired girl over there?_

_The first girl knight Kippernia has ever seen in the history of..._

_well, ever.'_

But not to him.

To him, I was his Lady Knight. I was never Lady Jane, or lady In waiting. I was fair beanstalk. I was Jane- just Jane.

No whispers to be spoken of, when I told him my dream. No regrets were felt when he gave it to me.

He was the first to believe in me, My first true friend. Dragon came along, and secured my place as a knight-in-training, but he was always there, someway off to the sidelines, cheering me on when sweat poured into my eyes and Gunther was sneering at my effort.

And I suppose, Gunther- He was the second. It was to him I turned, even after all those years of ridicule. It was to him I gave my first kiss from behind the ramparts when the castle was under siege and both our lives were in question. It was to him, I turned to in battle, and it was him whom I watched die under the blade of the enemy. It was his grave that I shed those tears over, and then, he came back to me.

Not Gunther, Not Dragon, but Jester.

His were the arms that folded over mine, like the breath of a gentle angel. It was he that carried me back to the castle when I lay bleeding both in heart and in body, mourning over the loss of a love, over a grave too freshly dug.

I did not wake up for a week, he told me afterward when I came back to earth, sore and broken.

He thought I was unconscious, but somehow I heard him, every word he said, whether he had said it aloud or not.

Whether It was just being said then, or if he had already said it in everything he had ever done for me. I Listened, and I heard.

I heard the cries of a lonely soul. I heard his heart, cut to ribbons and its contents pouring through his mouth. I heard the love he had concealed from me, I heard the love he had showed for me. I saw the depth in his words, and I was afraid.

I was afraid of drowning, in that love.

I came back to him torn in two, clinging fiercely to the fear I had of losing him again. He was patient with me. He never judged; never asked questions when I woke up crying in the middle of the night. He held me close, kissed my forehead, and for a long time my greatest joy was remembering the smile on his face whenever I confessed of my love for him as well. and from then on, He came first.

I had been told it my whole life, that I was the first, the only.

It was not always such a bad thing, being the first. But I have come to realize that it can often be the worst thing any soul could ever be given.

I was the first to see my friends fall, one by one, under the heat of battle.

I was the first at Jester's side, when he lay dying, waiting by in the loom of a grave too freshly dug. The smile on his face before he left this old earth was the first I had come to love, and the last I would ever see from him.

And for the first time in my life, I was last.

I was the last, and the only, survivor.

I Come back now, torn in two, broken by the things I have seen, and those whom I have lost. No-one Judged me. No-one ever asked questions.

All My life whispers followed my name. Now they were:

_'Do you see that small elderly woman by the fire?_

_She is the last Knight of Kippernia,'_

I sometimes wondered why no-one asked me if I ever got lonely being the only of my kind. I was not lonely, Not back then. Maybe now.

I had Dragon. I had Pepper, And Smithy, and Rake, even Gunther. But I always had him. Perhaps life was not so bad after all, Is my one conclusion. I have lived, I have dreamed, and I have loved. I had woes, I had laughs, I had friends, and I always, Always, had my boy in blue.

And now, I join him.


End file.
